1
00:00:00,384 --> 00:00:02,678
♪ It seems today
that all you see ♪

2
00:00:02,678 --> 00:00:06,015
♪ Is violence in movies
and sex on TV ♪

3
00:00:06,015 --> 00:00:09,476
♪ But where are those
good old-fashioned values ♪

4
00:00:09,476 --> 00:00:12,688
[all]
♪ On which we used to rely? ♪

5
00:00:12,688 --> 00:00:15,941
♪ Lucky there's a family guy ♪

6
00:00:15,941 --> 00:00:19,403
♪ Lucky there's a man who
positively can do ♪

7
00:00:19,403 --> 00:00:20,988
♪ All the things
that make us ♪

8
00:00:20,988 --> 00:00:22,823
♪ Laugh and cry! ♪

9
00:00:22,823 --> 00:00:27,870
[all]
♪ He's a family guy! ♪

10
00:00:32,499 --> 00:00:34,001
All right, now remember,
we're trash,

11
00:00:34,001 --> 00:00:35,669
so no dressing rooms for us.

12
00:00:35,669 --> 00:00:38,630
The Griffins are proud
middle-of-the-aisle try-on people.

13
00:00:39,423 --> 00:00:41,467
Take a look, I don't care.

14
00:00:41,467 --> 00:00:43,177
Brian, I found our costume!

15
00:00:43,177 --> 00:00:44,845
We're gonna be Sonny and Cher!

16
00:00:44,845 --> 00:00:46,555
And either one of us
could be Cher, I don't care--

17
00:00:46,555 --> 00:00:47,765
I guess I'll be Cher.

18
00:00:47,765 --> 00:00:49,099
How do you know
I don't already have plans

19
00:00:49,099 --> 00:00:51,143
-for Halloween?
-You do have plans.

20
00:00:51,143 --> 00:00:53,604
You're dressing as Sonny
and trick-or-treating with me.

21
00:00:54,855 --> 00:00:56,440
If you come near me,

22
00:00:56,440 --> 00:00:58,817
-you're saying you're okay
with getting hit! -[both gasp]

23
00:00:58,817 --> 00:01:02,362
Yeah, everybody has a plan
until they see the husky kid

24
00:01:02,362 --> 00:01:05,074
in the Halloween store
going absolutely nuts

25
00:01:05,074 --> 00:01:06,325
with nunchucks!

26
00:01:06,325 --> 00:01:08,077
[yells]

27
00:01:12,247 --> 00:01:13,707
This pumpkin's huge!

28
00:01:13,707 --> 00:01:15,667
-How'd you get it so big?
-Giggity.

29
00:01:15,667 --> 00:01:17,544
You guys promise not to laugh?

30
00:01:17,544 --> 00:01:18,837
-Oh, yeah, yeah.
-Yes.

31
00:01:18,837 --> 00:01:20,214
I wished for it.

32
00:01:20,214 --> 00:01:22,257
[laughing]

33
00:01:22,257 --> 00:01:23,675
I knew you guys would laugh,

34
00:01:23,675 --> 00:01:26,178
but I also tended to it
for months.

35
00:01:26,178 --> 00:01:28,263
My only question is, why?

36
00:01:28,263 --> 00:01:29,765
Every year, I enter Quahog's

37
00:01:29,765 --> 00:01:31,433
Great Pumpkin
Halloween Contest

38
00:01:31,433 --> 00:01:34,895
and get creamed by that
dang Patrick McCloskey.

39
00:01:34,895 --> 00:01:36,772
Guy's got the best soil
in town.

40
00:01:36,772 --> 00:01:38,148
He's over there
on the east side.

41
00:01:38,148 --> 00:01:39,566
You know what that means.

42
00:01:39,566 --> 00:01:40,776
I think you know we don't.

43
00:01:40,776 --> 00:01:42,903
Closer to the coast,
more moisture.

44
00:01:42,903 --> 00:01:44,404
Should really be two contests,

45
00:01:44,404 --> 00:01:46,156
one for each side of town.

46
00:01:46,156 --> 00:01:48,325
I think one's the right amount
of contests.

47
00:01:48,325 --> 00:01:49,493
Patrick McCloskey?

48
00:01:49,493 --> 00:01:51,036
Why do I know that name?

49
00:01:51,036 --> 00:01:52,996
Wait, weren't there
weird rumors about him and Bonnie?

50
00:01:52,996 --> 00:01:54,331
No, it's just
the pumpkin thing.

51
00:01:58,043 --> 00:01:59,586
We are going to be
such a thing

52
00:01:59,586 --> 00:02:00,754
at trick-or-treating.

53
00:02:00,754 --> 00:02:01,839
I'd honestly be Sonny

54
00:02:01,839 --> 00:02:03,757
if I wasn't exactly
Cher's size.

55
00:02:03,757 --> 00:02:05,217
I'm going to take
this costume off.

56
00:02:05,217 --> 00:02:07,010
Not yet, it's time for choreo!

57
00:02:07,010 --> 00:02:09,096
That's choreography.
Did you know that?

58
00:02:09,096 --> 00:02:10,931
Stewie, I can't just spend
all day doing--

59
00:02:10,931 --> 00:02:12,933
So it's rock left,
rock right,

60
00:02:12,933 --> 00:02:15,310
right elbow into chest,
half-air bump,

61
00:02:15,310 --> 00:02:17,938
left elbow into chest,
half-air bump.

62
00:02:17,938 --> 00:02:19,189
Say it with me.

63
00:02:19,189 --> 00:02:21,066
[together]
Rock left, rock right,

64
00:02:21,066 --> 00:02:23,652
right elbow into chest,
half-air bump.

65
00:02:23,652 --> 00:02:25,571
You're off tempo.

66
00:02:25,571 --> 00:02:27,322
-Rock left, rock right...
-Left... right...

67
00:02:27,322 --> 00:02:29,950
-...right elbow into chest,
half-air bump. -Chest... half...

68
00:02:29,950 --> 00:02:31,577
-Bump.
-You're off tempo, again.

69
00:02:31,577 --> 00:02:33,412
I'm starting to think
you don't really want this.

70
00:02:33,412 --> 00:02:34,580
I don't want this.

71
00:02:34,580 --> 00:02:36,290
Brian, do you know
how many Puerto Rican men

72
00:02:36,290 --> 00:02:38,792
came here in giant sweatpants
to audition for me?

73
00:02:38,792 --> 00:02:40,377
You're taking this too far.

74
00:02:40,377 --> 00:02:42,671
I'm not getting bossed around
by you for the next two days.

75
00:02:42,671 --> 00:02:44,840
Well, now you know
how Cher felt about Sonny.

76
00:02:44,840 --> 00:02:46,842
[sighs] I knew it was just
a matter of time

77
00:02:46,842 --> 00:02:48,468
until we became
the two of them.

78
00:02:48,468 --> 00:02:50,012
You look ridiculous,
by the way.

79
00:02:50,012 --> 00:02:51,221
How dare you?

80
00:02:51,221 --> 00:02:53,974
Rupert thinks I look amazing.

81
00:02:53,974 --> 00:02:56,185
Well, great.
Rupert can be Sonny because I'm done.

82
00:02:56,185 --> 00:02:57,478
I'm not taking you
trick-or-treating.

83
00:02:57,478 --> 00:02:58,770
I'm going to hang out
with my friends.

84
00:02:58,770 --> 00:03:00,772
Oh, your "friends," huh?
Name one.

85
00:03:00,772 --> 00:03:03,066
-Shut up.
-Oh, yeah, "Shut Up," great guy.

86
00:03:03,066 --> 00:03:04,776
I hate you!

87
00:03:04,776 --> 00:03:06,486
God, Brian's such a jerk.

88
00:03:06,486 --> 00:03:08,197
"Have Rupert be Sonny."

89
00:03:08,197 --> 00:03:10,407
You know what? Maybe I will.

90
00:03:10,407 --> 00:03:11,492
And here's your stupid

91
00:03:11,492 --> 00:03:13,410
very-real-feeling
mustache back.

92
00:03:13,410 --> 00:03:15,204
Where do you even get
something like this?

93
00:03:15,204 --> 00:03:17,039
Don't worry
about where I got it.

94
00:03:17,039 --> 00:03:18,248
[Tom] Hello?

95
00:03:18,248 --> 00:03:19,291
Where am I?

96
00:03:20,042 --> 00:03:21,043
Is anybody there?

97
00:03:24,004 --> 00:03:26,632
[screaming] No!

98
00:03:32,054 --> 00:03:34,097
You guys
are big fact guys, right?

99
00:03:34,097 --> 00:03:37,017
I read Native Americans used
every part of the pumpkin.

100
00:03:37,017 --> 00:03:40,229
It provided many gifts.
Clothing, soap, tools.

101
00:03:40,229 --> 00:03:42,439
Pumpkins were even honored
as relatives

102
00:03:42,439 --> 00:03:44,816
and paid tribute
to through songs,

103
00:03:44,816 --> 00:03:46,443
dance, and prayers.

104
00:03:46,443 --> 00:03:50,447
I am 100% sure
it's the buffalo to which you are referring.

105
00:03:50,447 --> 00:03:52,532
Let's see
how the little guy's doing.

106
00:03:54,451 --> 00:03:56,161
A dark-eyed junco?

107
00:03:56,161 --> 00:03:57,913
That's a pumpkin
death sentence!

108
00:03:57,913 --> 00:03:59,122
Scram, scram!

109
00:03:59,122 --> 00:04:00,457
Get out of there! Bonnie?

110
00:04:00,457 --> 00:04:03,460
[over intercom]
You out there? Get the broom!

111
00:04:03,460 --> 00:04:05,379
What were we talking about?
Pumpkins?

112
00:04:05,379 --> 00:04:07,047
Shut up about the pumpkin!

113
00:04:07,047 --> 00:04:08,715
I might give Bon a quick call.

114
00:04:08,715 --> 00:04:10,467
Make sure she knows
she's on bird duty.

115
00:04:11,927 --> 00:04:14,554
I apologize for my outburst.

116
00:04:14,554 --> 00:04:16,056
It's something I'm working on.

117
00:04:16,056 --> 00:04:17,557
No apology necessary.

118
00:04:17,557 --> 00:04:20,102
I've had about all I can take
of this stupid pumpkin.

119
00:04:20,102 --> 00:04:21,853
Hey, what if we hid
Joe's pumpkin

120
00:04:21,853 --> 00:04:24,189
before it gets picked up
for the fair tomorrow morning?

121
00:04:24,189 --> 00:04:26,358
-I'm way in.
-Great idea, Peter.

122
00:04:26,358 --> 00:04:28,277
It's just a standard plan
of attack.

123
00:04:28,277 --> 00:04:30,779
Something I picked up
when I served at Fort Bragg.

124
00:04:30,779 --> 00:04:33,365
I once hit three homers
in a wiffle ball game.

125
00:04:33,365 --> 00:04:34,783
Why are you telling me this?

126
00:04:34,783 --> 00:04:35,909
Fort Bragg.

127
00:04:35,909 --> 00:04:37,869
You're going
to the war tomorrow.

128
00:04:37,869 --> 00:04:39,913
-Where is it?
-Afghanistan.

129
00:04:39,913 --> 00:04:42,165
I've been there,
like, four times, no big deal.

130
00:04:42,874 --> 00:04:44,293
[thunder crashes]

131
00:04:52,884 --> 00:04:55,304
All right, Rupert,
prepare to be brought to life

132
00:04:55,304 --> 00:04:57,264
to be my Sonny for Halloween.

133
00:04:57,264 --> 00:04:58,515
Oop, almost forgot.

134
00:05:02,394 --> 00:05:04,896
And finally,
this metal-studded dog collar

135
00:05:04,896 --> 00:05:06,106
to conduct electricity,

136
00:05:06,106 --> 00:05:07,691
and not because it's
my biggest kink.

137
00:05:12,696 --> 00:05:14,448
[Meg]
Did the Internet just go out?

138
00:05:14,448 --> 00:05:15,699
It won't be long!

139
00:05:15,699 --> 00:05:17,326
[Chris] Yeah, it's out.

140
00:05:17,326 --> 00:05:19,661
Guys, you can go,
like, two seconds without the Internet!

141
00:05:21,246 --> 00:05:22,622
[electricity crackling]

142
00:05:25,250 --> 00:05:26,460
[thunder crashing]

143
00:05:30,339 --> 00:05:31,965
[crackling intensifies]

144
00:05:46,063 --> 00:05:47,314
It's not alive.

145
00:05:47,314 --> 00:05:49,483
It's not alive!

146
00:05:53,403 --> 00:05:54,863
[Chris]
Internet's back for me.

147
00:05:54,863 --> 00:05:57,866
[Meg] Me too.
Reebok.com, baby!

148
00:05:57,866 --> 00:05:59,117
[sighs]

149
00:06:01,203 --> 00:06:02,287
[thunder crashes]

150
00:06:02,287 --> 00:06:04,122
One, two, three!

151
00:06:04,122 --> 00:06:06,583
[all grunting]

152
00:06:06,583 --> 00:06:08,543
-Where are we taking this?
-I don't know.

153
00:06:08,543 --> 00:06:10,420
What?
I thought you had a plan!

154
00:06:10,420 --> 00:06:12,464
Yeah, the plan,
which everyone loved,

155
00:06:12,464 --> 00:06:13,840
was to hide the pumpkin.

156
00:06:13,840 --> 00:06:16,009
Oh, for crying out loud.

157
00:06:16,009 --> 00:06:17,719
Am I the only one
who can make plans?

158
00:06:17,719 --> 00:06:19,429
I have decision fatigue.

159
00:06:20,138 --> 00:06:21,556
-[both gasp]
-Uh-oh.

160
00:06:21,556 --> 00:06:22,974
We wrecked Joe's pumpkin.

161
00:06:22,974 --> 00:06:24,643
And my sneakers!

162
00:06:24,643 --> 00:06:25,894
[thunder crashes]

163
00:06:26,728 --> 00:06:28,021
Cleveland, are you--

164
00:06:28,021 --> 00:06:29,231
Are those Yeezys?

165
00:06:29,231 --> 00:06:30,649
They're cheaper now.

166
00:06:33,568 --> 00:06:34,569
[thunder crashes]

167
00:06:35,529 --> 00:06:36,530
Rupert?

168
00:06:37,239 --> 00:06:38,240
Rupert?

169
00:06:39,366 --> 00:06:41,201
Rupert, you awake?

170
00:06:41,201 --> 00:06:42,494
Oh, good, you are.

171
00:06:42,494 --> 00:06:43,745
Yes, it's about Brian.

172
00:06:43,745 --> 00:06:44,996
He was so mean.

173
00:06:44,996 --> 00:06:47,624
I can't believe he just
ditched me on Halloween.

174
00:06:47,624 --> 00:06:50,001
He's my best friend,
and this is how he treats me.

175
00:06:50,001 --> 00:06:51,086
I hate him.

176
00:06:51,086 --> 00:06:52,587
Seriously,
I wish he were dead.

177
00:06:52,587 --> 00:06:54,339
I mean it,
no takesies-backsies.

178
00:06:55,215 --> 00:06:56,174
Good night, Rupert.

179
00:06:57,551 --> 00:06:58,677
Rupert?

180
00:06:58,677 --> 00:06:59,845
Rupert, you awake?

181
00:06:59,845 --> 00:07:00,971
Oh, good, you're awake.

182
00:07:00,971 --> 00:07:01,972
Good night.

183
00:07:03,014 --> 00:07:04,015
[snores]

184
00:07:07,894 --> 00:07:09,521
[thunder crashes]

185
00:07:09,521 --> 00:07:11,898
Dear Stewie,
you've given me life,

186
00:07:11,898 --> 00:07:14,276
and some would say
I'm indebted to you.

187
00:07:14,276 --> 00:07:16,361
Well, I don't know
if all that's true,

188
00:07:16,361 --> 00:07:20,282
but you've got me,
and, baby, I've got you.

189
00:07:20,282 --> 00:07:23,702
[laughing]

190
00:07:23,702 --> 00:07:26,663
And now to fulfill your wish,

191
00:07:26,663 --> 00:07:30,459
I must kill Brian.

192
00:07:30,459 --> 00:07:34,379
But first, I must kill
this bag of Doritos.

193
00:07:34,379 --> 00:07:37,174
[announcer]
Family Guy. It was either this or we fire three writers.

194
00:07:47,490 --> 00:07:48,658
Step aside.

195
00:07:48,658 --> 00:07:50,660
Now, let's remember,
it's just a pumpkin.

196
00:07:50,660 --> 00:07:51,745
[gun cocks]

197
00:07:54,039 --> 00:07:56,416
No, no, no!
We can put it back together.

198
00:07:56,416 --> 00:07:58,043
Are you telling me
you can do

199
00:07:58,043 --> 00:08:00,545
what the Humpty Dumpty
crew couldn't?

200
00:08:00,545 --> 00:08:02,672
I-- I never got
to the end of that.

201
00:08:02,672 --> 00:08:04,633
And you have no king's horses,

202
00:08:04,633 --> 00:08:07,260
and they had
all the King's horses.

203
00:08:07,260 --> 00:08:10,388
I'm not sure how much horses
can help fix a broken egg guy.

204
00:08:10,388 --> 00:08:12,599
Yeah, good luck
with those hooves.

205
00:08:12,599 --> 00:08:13,767
[groans]

206
00:08:13,767 --> 00:08:15,060
Well, I'm finished.

207
00:08:15,060 --> 00:08:17,562
May as well give McCloskey
the trophy now.

208
00:08:17,562 --> 00:08:19,439
You know,
the damage is on the bottom.

209
00:08:19,439 --> 00:08:21,900
We can just shovel
the rest of the goop back in and prop it up.

210
00:08:21,900 --> 00:08:25,779
We can't just scoop 307 pounds
of pumpkin guts in there.

211
00:08:25,779 --> 00:08:28,031
[horn honking]

212
00:08:31,993 --> 00:08:34,579
307 pounds is my exact weight.

213
00:08:34,579 --> 00:08:36,623
This is crazy, but I think
I could slide in

214
00:08:36,623 --> 00:08:37,916
through the hole
in the bottom.

215
00:08:37,916 --> 00:08:39,709
Then I could just sit in there
for a few hours,

216
00:08:39,709 --> 00:08:41,419
and maybe you can
still win the contest.

217
00:08:41,419 --> 00:08:42,754
You'd do that for me?

218
00:08:42,754 --> 00:08:44,172
I broke it. I'll fix it.

219
00:08:44,172 --> 00:08:46,049
Plus, I want to beat McCloskey
for you.

220
00:08:46,049 --> 00:08:47,259
I heard about him and Bonnie.

221
00:08:47,259 --> 00:08:48,718
I don't know
what people are hearing.

222
00:08:48,718 --> 00:08:50,178
It's just pumpkin stuff
with us.

223
00:08:54,349 --> 00:08:57,185
Welcome to the Quahog
Great Pumpkin Contest.

224
00:08:57,185 --> 00:08:58,520
We're going to start today

225
00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:00,271
with the pumpkin pie
eating event.

226
00:09:00,271 --> 00:09:02,440
Peter Griffin is
our reigning champion.

227
00:09:02,440 --> 00:09:05,402
Peter, come on up and accept
this Pie to the City.

228
00:09:05,402 --> 00:09:07,570
[Peter] Joe, I need
to come out for a minute.

229
00:09:07,570 --> 00:09:09,114
It's too risky, Peter.

230
00:09:09,114 --> 00:09:11,574
The Pie to the City
enables the bearer

231
00:09:11,574 --> 00:09:13,743
to go to any establishment
with pie

232
00:09:13,743 --> 00:09:16,663
and get a free pie
at any time.

233
00:09:16,663 --> 00:09:18,123
Sorry, bud.

234
00:09:18,123 --> 00:09:19,374
We'll get you pie later.

235
00:09:26,631 --> 00:09:28,466
-[engine revving]
-[tires screeching]

236
00:09:35,598 --> 00:09:37,017
[spits]

237
00:09:40,228 --> 00:09:41,479
-Who is that?
-Who was that?

238
00:09:41,479 --> 00:09:42,689
That's the king.

239
00:09:42,689 --> 00:09:43,815
That's McCloskey.

240
00:09:43,815 --> 00:09:45,650
He's allowed to just park
on the grass?

241
00:09:45,650 --> 00:09:46,901
They'll ask him to move.

242
00:09:46,901 --> 00:09:48,236
That's what they did
last year.

243
00:09:52,490 --> 00:09:54,284
Stewie thinks
I have no friends.

244
00:09:54,284 --> 00:09:55,493
Then what are all these?

245
00:09:56,411 --> 00:09:57,871
Hello, Brian.

246
00:09:57,871 --> 00:10:00,582
Enjoy your last call.

247
00:10:00,582 --> 00:10:01,750
[ringing]

248
00:10:03,585 --> 00:10:05,045
Hello?

249
00:10:05,045 --> 00:10:07,922
Sanfo, what do we got going on
for All Hallows' Eve?

250
00:10:07,922 --> 00:10:09,007
Hang sesh?

251
00:10:09,007 --> 00:10:10,091
Who is this?

252
00:10:10,091 --> 00:10:11,468
Bri-guy, from the line.

253
00:10:11,468 --> 00:10:12,552
What line?

254
00:10:12,552 --> 00:10:13,970
"What line," he says.

255
00:10:13,970 --> 00:10:15,305
Top Gun: Maverick.

256
00:10:15,305 --> 00:10:18,349
Uh, dude, that was,
like, three years ago.

257
00:10:18,349 --> 00:10:19,434
Ha! What're we
gettin' into tonight,

258
00:10:19,434 --> 00:10:21,436
you ol' bull shark?

259
00:10:21,436 --> 00:10:22,812
I don't know, man.

260
00:10:22,812 --> 00:10:25,106
I might go
to the Quahog Cemetery outdoor movie.

261
00:10:25,106 --> 00:10:26,191
Love it. Should we get

262
00:10:26,191 --> 00:10:28,401
the Dime Boys involved
is the question?

263
00:10:28,401 --> 00:10:30,612
Hey, while I got ya,
let me show you my yard.

264
00:10:30,612 --> 00:10:32,655
So much potench.

265
00:10:32,655 --> 00:10:34,532
Ugh. "Potench."

266
00:10:34,532 --> 00:10:36,367
Now I want to kill him twice.

267
00:10:41,164 --> 00:10:42,248
Look at him.

268
00:10:42,248 --> 00:10:43,625
He's so cool.

269
00:10:43,625 --> 00:10:45,543
[Peter] I want to see him
so bad.

270
00:10:48,046 --> 00:10:49,214
Hoo-hoo-hoo!

271
00:10:49,214 --> 00:10:51,925
Look who it is,
"Second Place" Swanson.

272
00:10:51,925 --> 00:10:53,426
That nickname
doesn't make sense

273
00:10:53,426 --> 00:10:55,428
because one year
I was sixth place.

274
00:10:55,428 --> 00:10:57,305
Feel stupid now, McCloskey?

275
00:10:57,305 --> 00:10:59,849
Let me get a closer look
at your pumpkin.

276
00:10:59,849 --> 00:11:01,976
Could barely see it
from over there.

277
00:11:01,976 --> 00:11:04,020
[Peter] Ha, classic McCloskey.

278
00:11:04,020 --> 00:11:05,647
-What was that?
-What?

279
00:11:05,647 --> 00:11:08,650
All I hear are whispers
from all the pumpkin bloggers

280
00:11:08,650 --> 00:11:10,985
saying McCloskey's reign
is over.

281
00:11:10,985 --> 00:11:12,070
Good news.

282
00:11:12,070 --> 00:11:13,405
When your pumpkin loses,

283
00:11:13,405 --> 00:11:14,864
you can still use it
as a centerpiece

284
00:11:14,864 --> 00:11:16,407
at Thanksgiving. [laughs]

285
00:11:16,407 --> 00:11:18,743
Provided you have
a small enough table.

286
00:11:18,743 --> 00:11:20,161
-[grunts]
-Hey, hey, hey, hey!

287
00:11:20,161 --> 00:11:22,080
It's not worth it.
None of this is.

288
00:11:22,080 --> 00:11:23,331
I wish I stayed home.

289
00:11:26,584 --> 00:11:30,755
And this year's Quahog
Great Pumpkin winner is...

290
00:11:30,755 --> 00:11:32,006
[drum roll]

291
00:11:34,217 --> 00:11:36,136
It's just pumpkin stuff, Joe.

292
00:11:36,136 --> 00:11:37,262
Oh, good.

293
00:11:37,262 --> 00:11:38,930
See, fellas? Pumpkin stuff.

294
00:11:38,930 --> 00:11:40,849
Joe Swanson!

295
00:11:40,849 --> 00:11:42,934
-Yeah! Mwah.
-Ugh!

296
00:11:42,934 --> 00:11:45,103
Better luck next year,
McCloskey.

297
00:11:45,854 --> 00:11:46,938
What are they doing?

298
00:11:48,231 --> 00:11:50,483
All the Pumpkin County winners
are entered

299
00:11:50,483 --> 00:11:52,527
in the State Halloween Contest
in Providence.

300
00:11:52,527 --> 00:11:55,613
Do you know anything about
regional pumpkin contests?

301
00:11:55,613 --> 00:11:58,408
Oh, suck my bumpy gourd,
McCloskey.

302
00:11:58,408 --> 00:11:59,617
Your what?

303
00:11:59,617 --> 00:12:01,619
My bumpy little orange,
green, and yellow

304
00:12:01,619 --> 00:12:04,164
Gonzo-nose-shaped gourd.

305
00:12:04,164 --> 00:12:05,248
Stop describing it.

306
00:12:07,041 --> 00:12:08,293
[Peter] Are we driving?

307
00:12:08,293 --> 00:12:10,086
I don't have a seat belt.

308
00:12:10,086 --> 00:12:11,421
[kids] Trick-or-treat!

309
00:12:16,926 --> 00:12:19,429
Weird. That kid looks like
your teddy bear.

310
00:12:19,429 --> 00:12:20,847
Except he's holding
a big knife

311
00:12:20,847 --> 00:12:23,141
and has a present-day
Anthony Kiedis costume.

312
00:12:26,269 --> 00:12:28,479
That's not present-day
Anthony Kiedis.

313
00:12:28,479 --> 00:12:29,772
That's Sonny Bono.

314
00:12:29,772 --> 00:12:31,524
Oh, my God, it worked!

315
00:12:31,524 --> 00:12:33,860
I made life! Yay!

316
00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:37,155
Rupert, you're alive!

317
00:12:37,155 --> 00:12:38,531
Thanks to you.

318
00:12:38,531 --> 00:12:41,201
This is amazing! Oh,
we have so much to talk about.

319
00:12:41,201 --> 00:12:42,744
But first, candy.

320
00:12:42,744 --> 00:12:44,329
I can't wait to join you,

321
00:12:44,329 --> 00:12:48,499
right after I find
and kill Brian, babe.

322
00:12:48,499 --> 00:12:49,626
Wait, what?

323
00:12:49,626 --> 00:12:52,587
Remember?
"I wish Brian were dead."

324
00:12:52,587 --> 00:12:54,297
Oh, I was just angry
for a second.

325
00:12:54,297 --> 00:12:56,341
But forget all that.
You're alive!

326
00:12:56,341 --> 00:12:57,592
Let's trick-or-treat.

327
00:12:57,592 --> 00:12:58,760
Of course.

328
00:12:58,760 --> 00:13:00,511
Once I kill Brian.

329
00:13:00,511 --> 00:13:02,138
Come on, Rupert.
Don't be silly.

330
00:13:02,138 --> 00:13:03,348
I'm not mad anymore.

331
00:13:03,348 --> 00:13:05,141
Actually, I like being
a solo act.

332
00:13:05,141 --> 00:13:08,686
I got an Oscar and, like,
100 hot young boyfriends ahead of me.

333
00:13:08,686 --> 00:13:11,314
Gonna do a fishnet dance
on an aircraft carrier,

334
00:13:11,314 --> 00:13:13,483
remind our boys in white
what they're fightin' for.

335
00:13:13,483 --> 00:13:14,984
Anyway,
you don't have to kill him.

336
00:13:14,984 --> 00:13:17,403
But you said,
"No takesies-backsies."

337
00:13:19,364 --> 00:13:21,115
Rupert, where did you go?

338
00:13:21,115 --> 00:13:23,326
Oh, my God,
I have to save Brian!

339
00:13:25,078 --> 00:13:27,205
Mr. Herbert,
you're trick-or-treating?

340
00:13:27,205 --> 00:13:29,082
Oh, I use Halloween
to take care of

341
00:13:29,082 --> 00:13:31,125
a little yearly housekeeping.

342
00:13:31,125 --> 00:13:32,293
[giggling]

343
00:13:32,293 --> 00:13:33,503
[doorbell rings]

344
00:13:33,503 --> 00:13:34,587
Trick-or-treat!

345
00:13:34,587 --> 00:13:36,673
I'm a registered sex offender.

346
00:13:41,469 --> 00:13:42,470
Brian!

347
00:13:43,054 --> 00:13:44,305
Brian!

348
00:13:44,305 --> 00:13:45,848
Where could he be?

349
00:13:45,848 --> 00:13:47,058
Hey, Cher!

350
00:13:47,058 --> 00:13:49,018
Hey, guys!

351
00:13:49,018 --> 00:13:50,478
I'm putting this on Instagram!

352
00:13:51,396 --> 00:13:52,897
Well, this is a big hit.

353
00:13:52,897 --> 00:13:54,774
I can't stop smiling.

354
00:13:54,774 --> 00:13:56,401
Instagram! Of course!

355
00:13:56,401 --> 00:13:57,777
Brian doesn't have
the confidence

356
00:13:57,777 --> 00:13:59,404
not to shove
every sad little thing

357
00:13:59,404 --> 00:14:00,822
he does down our throats.

358
00:14:00,822 --> 00:14:02,031
Bingo!

359
00:14:02,031 --> 00:14:03,950
He's going to watch
an '80s horror boob movie

360
00:14:03,950 --> 00:14:05,118
at the cemetery.

361
00:14:05,118 --> 00:14:07,245
"Gonna be cool
to see them so big."

362
00:14:07,245 --> 00:14:09,247
Hashtag big screen boobs.

363
00:14:09,247 --> 00:14:11,916
"Waiting on my guy Sanfo
with the provisions."

364
00:14:11,916 --> 00:14:15,003
Parenthetical,
"All the Jameson, please. LOL."

365
00:14:15,003 --> 00:14:16,671
Ugh, what a mess.

366
00:14:16,671 --> 00:14:18,881
[Rupert] Shall we split a cab?

367
00:14:18,881 --> 00:14:21,092
-[yelps]
-It's nice he's at the cemetery.

368
00:14:21,092 --> 00:14:22,677
Less clean up.

369
00:14:22,677 --> 00:14:23,678
[phone dings]

370
00:14:27,473 --> 00:14:28,683
God, that's awful.

371
00:14:34,897 --> 00:14:36,566
Peter's been in that pumpkin
all day.

372
00:14:36,566 --> 00:14:38,026
We gotta find him
and get him out.

373
00:14:39,569 --> 00:14:42,280
It's going to take us hours
with all these pumpkins.

374
00:14:42,280 --> 00:14:43,406
-Peter!
-[Peter] Yeah?

375
00:14:43,406 --> 00:14:45,199
-Oh, wow.
-Can I come out?

376
00:14:45,199 --> 00:14:46,409
I should be at work.

377
00:14:46,409 --> 00:14:47,910
Yeah, let's get you
out of there.

378
00:14:47,910 --> 00:14:49,287
Well, well, well.

379
00:14:49,287 --> 00:14:50,830
"Miracle-Grow" Joe.

380
00:14:50,830 --> 00:14:52,582
McCloskey,
what are you doing here?

381
00:14:52,582 --> 00:14:54,500
I saved my wristband
from last year.

382
00:14:54,500 --> 00:14:56,127
They didn't change the color.

383
00:14:56,127 --> 00:14:58,254
I didn't ask how you got in.

384
00:14:58,254 --> 00:14:59,881
Well,
something doesn't add up.

385
00:14:59,881 --> 00:15:02,592
Last year,
your pumpkin was 18 pounds.

386
00:15:02,592 --> 00:15:05,762
And this year, it's 307?

387
00:15:05,762 --> 00:15:08,222
Seems like
a disproportionate step up.

388
00:15:08,222 --> 00:15:09,432
But what do I know?

389
00:15:09,432 --> 00:15:12,477
Just almost every
pumpkin thing there is.

390
00:15:12,477 --> 00:15:13,853
Get lost, McCloskey.

391
00:15:13,853 --> 00:15:16,356
Oh, ho-ho-ho!
No, I'm sticking around.

392
00:15:16,356 --> 00:15:17,982
I'm gonna get
to the bottom of this.

393
00:15:17,982 --> 00:15:21,903
[Peter] Yeah, now I'm kind of
wondering myself.

394
00:15:21,903 --> 00:15:24,405
[announcer] Hello, hipsters
and newly-sober people

395
00:15:24,405 --> 00:15:27,033
who ran out of
seltzer flavors to try.

396
00:15:27,033 --> 00:15:29,285
The movie will start soon.

397
00:15:29,285 --> 00:15:31,662
Do you mind if I scoot
your blanket over a bit?

398
00:15:31,662 --> 00:15:32,914
You're on my dad's grave,

399
00:15:32,914 --> 00:15:34,457
and I'd like to leave
these flowers.

400
00:15:34,457 --> 00:15:36,376
I totally get it
from your perspective,

401
00:15:36,376 --> 00:15:38,836
but Sanfo should be here
in uno momento,

402
00:15:38,836 --> 00:15:40,963
and there's a chance
the Dime Boys may roll,

403
00:15:40,963 --> 00:15:42,131
so, yeah, no.

404
00:15:46,302 --> 00:15:47,762
Hello.

405
00:15:47,762 --> 00:15:49,347
Do you mind if I sit?

406
00:15:49,347 --> 00:15:52,433
Whoa, a kid dressed as a bear
dressed as Sonny Bono?

407
00:15:52,433 --> 00:15:53,518
That's so weird.

408
00:15:53,518 --> 00:15:55,144
Oh, how so?

409
00:15:55,144 --> 00:15:57,105
Just-- I was supposed to go
as that.

410
00:15:57,105 --> 00:15:58,439
Well, why didn't you?

411
00:15:58,439 --> 00:16:00,483
Maybe somebody
was counting on you.

412
00:16:00,483 --> 00:16:02,068
Oh, that's not him.

413
00:16:02,068 --> 00:16:03,861
Sorry, bud.
I'm sorta keeping an eye out for my friends.

414
00:16:03,861 --> 00:16:05,488
They'll probably need help
with the YETI.

415
00:16:05,488 --> 00:16:08,199
It's the big one. Not cheap,
but heirloom quality.

416
00:16:08,199 --> 00:16:12,829
You know, to have a friend,
you must first be a friend.

417
00:16:12,829 --> 00:16:15,706
And you haven't been
a very good one, have you?

418
00:16:15,706 --> 00:16:16,791
Hey, you got it, Sonny.

419
00:16:16,791 --> 00:16:18,042
Hey, I'm gonna run
to the bathroom.

420
00:16:18,042 --> 00:16:20,002
If you see three guys
dressed as Anchorman

421
00:16:20,002 --> 00:16:21,462
scream-quoting Will Ferrell,

422
00:16:21,462 --> 00:16:23,339
tell 'em this is the spot.

423
00:16:23,339 --> 00:16:26,551
Oh, this is the spot,
all right.

424
00:16:26,551 --> 00:16:28,845
The spot to die.

425
00:16:29,637 --> 00:16:30,847
[Peter crying]

426
00:16:30,847 --> 00:16:32,056
We gotta get
Peter out of there.

427
00:16:32,056 --> 00:16:33,182
He's starting to lose it.

428
00:16:33,182 --> 00:16:34,976
Something is off
with this pumpkin.

429
00:16:34,976 --> 00:16:36,853
Don't hate me
'cause you ain't me.

430
00:16:36,853 --> 00:16:39,730
McCloskey said that to me
last year and now I say it.

431
00:16:39,730 --> 00:16:42,483
I have to go to the bathroom
more than the pail in here!

432
00:16:42,483 --> 00:16:44,444
-[judges gasp]
-Mr. Swanson,

433
00:16:44,444 --> 00:16:45,903
what is going on here?

434
00:16:45,903 --> 00:16:47,780
[sighs] I'm sorry.

435
00:16:47,780 --> 00:16:48,948
I've disgraced--

436
00:16:48,948 --> 00:16:50,408
[man]
I also have to go to the bathroom

437
00:16:50,408 --> 00:16:51,993
more than the pail in here!

438
00:16:51,993 --> 00:16:53,828
Who is that?

439
00:16:53,828 --> 00:16:55,788
[together]
We all have to go to the bathroom

440
00:16:55,788 --> 00:16:57,623
more than the pail in here!

441
00:16:57,623 --> 00:16:59,917
My wife made me volunteer
for this job.

442
00:16:59,917 --> 00:17:01,335
I'm not really sure
what to do.

443
00:17:01,335 --> 00:17:03,421
Maybe we just vote
on the fattest guy?

444
00:17:03,421 --> 00:17:05,047
This seems mean now.

445
00:17:05,047 --> 00:17:06,757
How'd you know I was cheating?

446
00:17:06,757 --> 00:17:08,092
The truth is...

447
00:17:08,092 --> 00:17:10,636
[sighs] there's no way
to win this contest clean.

448
00:17:10,636 --> 00:17:12,680
No real pumpkin
is ever over 20 pounds.

449
00:17:12,680 --> 00:17:14,056
But yours always are.

450
00:17:14,056 --> 00:17:16,809
My fat son sits in mine
every year.

451
00:17:16,809 --> 00:17:19,645
All these years,
I thought giant pumpkins

452
00:17:19,645 --> 00:17:21,189
were just full of seeds.

453
00:17:21,189 --> 00:17:22,648
Forget it, Joe.

454
00:17:22,648 --> 00:17:24,233
It's Pumpkin Town.

455
00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:28,321
[♪ moody jazz music playing]

456
00:17:30,948 --> 00:17:32,617
[engine revving]

457
00:17:36,954 --> 00:17:38,581
I gotta put
some thought to this,

458
00:17:38,581 --> 00:17:40,875
but I think I may be in love
with that guy.

459
00:17:45,338 --> 00:17:46,881
Have you seen a dog
with a bear

460
00:17:46,881 --> 00:17:48,299
in a Sonny Bono costume?

461
00:17:48,299 --> 00:17:49,550
[laughs]

462
00:17:49,550 --> 00:17:51,427
No, nothing like that.

463
00:17:51,427 --> 00:17:52,720
Just a dog with a bear

464
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:54,388
in a present-day
Anthony Kiedis costume.

465
00:17:57,725 --> 00:17:59,352
That's him!
Which way did they go?

466
00:18:02,230 --> 00:18:04,357
-[choking]
-[grunting]

467
00:18:05,358 --> 00:18:07,485
Oh, God, I'm too late.

468
00:18:07,485 --> 00:18:08,611
You're not too late!

469
00:18:08,611 --> 00:18:10,112
But by the time
I start helping,

470
00:18:10,112 --> 00:18:11,364
don't you think
it'll be too late?

471
00:18:11,364 --> 00:18:13,533
Not at all. Help!

472
00:18:13,533 --> 00:18:15,535
-[groans]
-[grunts]

473
00:18:24,085 --> 00:18:25,586
You should go.

474
00:18:25,586 --> 00:18:28,256
I don't think
you'll want to see what happens next.

475
00:18:28,256 --> 00:18:30,550
I command you
not to kill Brian.

476
00:18:30,550 --> 00:18:33,636
Dear, dear, Stewie,
don't you see it?

477
00:18:33,636 --> 00:18:35,179
You only animated me to life

478
00:18:35,179 --> 00:18:37,765
when Brian said
he wouldn't be Sonny.

479
00:18:37,765 --> 00:18:41,644
You turn to me only when
Brian's mean to you.

480
00:18:41,644 --> 00:18:43,938
I'm always second to him.

481
00:18:43,938 --> 00:18:45,022
Well, that's not true.

482
00:18:45,022 --> 00:18:46,148
Isn't it?

483
00:18:46,148 --> 00:18:48,776
Do you know
my name's not even Rupert?

484
00:18:48,776 --> 00:18:49,944
It's Jerry.

485
00:18:49,944 --> 00:18:52,029
Ugh, I've been hanging out
with a Jerry?

486
00:18:52,029 --> 00:18:55,491
But once Brian's gone,
I'll finally be first.

487
00:18:55,491 --> 00:18:59,287
You're one and only
best friend.

488
00:18:59,287 --> 00:19:00,454
[yells]

489
00:19:09,463 --> 00:19:10,548
[grunts]

490
00:19:10,548 --> 00:19:11,924
[growls]

491
00:19:11,924 --> 00:19:13,092
[screams]

492
00:19:13,968 --> 00:19:16,304
[both grunting]

493
00:19:16,304 --> 00:19:18,556
Say you'll leave Brian alone,
and I'll let you go.

494
00:19:19,307 --> 00:19:21,350
[choking] I can't do that.

495
00:19:21,350 --> 00:19:26,480
In that case,
you leave me no choice.

496
00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:28,357
[gurgling]

497
00:19:28,357 --> 00:19:31,444
[singing, crying]
♪ If I could turn back time ♪

498
00:19:31,444 --> 00:19:34,655
♪ If I could find a way ♪

499
00:19:34,655 --> 00:19:38,409
♪ I'd take back those words
that have hurt you ♪

500
00:19:38,409 --> 00:19:40,828
♪ And you'd stay ♪

501
00:19:40,828 --> 00:19:42,496
[grunts]

502
00:19:46,917 --> 00:19:48,794
What's... what's happening?

503
00:19:48,794 --> 00:19:50,129
Oh, hey, man.

504
00:19:50,129 --> 00:19:51,589
How much did you hear?

505
00:19:51,589 --> 00:19:53,591
You brought your bear to life
and told him to kill me?

506
00:19:53,591 --> 00:19:55,343
Damn, I was hoping
you missed that.

507
00:19:55,343 --> 00:19:59,013
Also, you chose me
and saved my life.

508
00:19:59,013 --> 00:20:00,931
[sighs]
You're my best friend, Bri.

509
00:20:00,931 --> 00:20:03,100
I'm really sorry
I put you through this.

510
00:20:03,100 --> 00:20:05,186
Eh, I was pretty selfish, too.

511
00:20:05,186 --> 00:20:07,104
I should have made time
to take my best friend

512
00:20:07,104 --> 00:20:08,230
trick-or-treating.

513
00:20:08,230 --> 00:20:09,982
I'm your best friend?

514
00:20:09,982 --> 00:20:11,567
You're pretty much
my only friend.

515
00:20:12,902 --> 00:20:15,112
What about Sanfo
and the Dime Boys?

516
00:20:15,112 --> 00:20:18,532
Honestly, I think Sanfo's just
using me for my sick yard.

517
00:20:18,532 --> 00:20:20,242
Happy Halloween, Bri,

518
00:20:20,242 --> 00:20:21,827
you total loon.

519
00:20:21,827 --> 00:20:23,245
Happy Halloween, Stewie.

520
00:20:29,460 --> 00:20:32,630
Man, that yard is going to be
the place to be this summer.

521
00:20:32,630 --> 00:20:34,882
[Stewie]
Maybe this is the summer I get back into croquet.

522
00:20:34,882 --> 00:20:36,050
We do have the space.

523
00:20:36,050 --> 00:20:37,593
[Brian] Yeah, lot of potench.

524
00:20:37,593 --> 00:20:38,594
[Stewie groans] Ugh.

525
00:20:45,393 --> 00:20:47,353
Oh, I know what you want.

526
00:20:48,062 --> 00:20:49,522
Here you go, sweetie.

527
00:20:49,522 --> 00:20:52,358
Your fluffy little friend
is all dry and good as new.

528
00:20:53,651 --> 00:20:54,735
[sniffs]

529
00:20:54,735 --> 00:20:56,153
Well, you lost a little stank,

530
00:20:56,153 --> 00:20:57,738
but that should come back
in time.

531
00:20:57,738 --> 00:21:00,533
Oh, my God, Rupert,
you would not believe what happened.

532
00:21:00,533 --> 00:21:03,577
I animated you to life,
and then you decided to kill--

533
00:21:03,577 --> 00:21:05,538
Yes, to life! Me!

534
00:21:05,538 --> 00:21:08,582
I did it, and then you decided
to kill Brian, because--

535
00:21:08,582 --> 00:21:10,126
No, we do not wish
he was dead.

536
00:21:10,126 --> 00:21:12,086
Not anymore, at least.
And then...

537
00:21:12,086 --> 00:21:14,922
[chuckles] What on earth
do they talk about?

538
00:21:14,922 --> 00:21:16,924
[♪ theme music playing]

539
00:21:16,974 --> 00:21:21,524
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